How Gray Hair Affects Strangers



This blog is about how my gray hair has affected people and the reaction I have gotten from them.


One time I was modeling in Napa Valley and I had to catch a flight to San Francisco International Airport. My driver was a gentleman about 15-20 years older than I was. We were driving along and he said to me, actually he confessed to me, that he always wondered what his wife of 25 years would look like with gray hair. He wondered what she would be like without the dye in her hair. What really affected me was that he would tell me and not his wife. I think it might have been a generational thing where you leave that type of personal grooming to the woman and the man accepts it because he loves her. All I knew was that it was quite a declaration and I was taken aback that he secretly wanted his wife to go gray and to go natural. I thought there must be many more men who wondered the same thing about their wives.


Many strangers have come up to me and they'll tell me their desire to go gray and they feel inspired by me to go gray. I remember one time I was out on the street walking my dog. I saw a car drive past me and then pull into the parking lot and park. I watched as a woman got out. She approached me on the sidewalk. I thought she was going to ask me for directions. Instead, (and I was very delighted) she said she had to pull over to tell me how beautiful my gray hair was. That really happened! Then she went on to share her personal story with me about deciding to go gray or not to go gray and her struggles. She opened up to me so completely. It was a really nice moment to have this complete stranger pour her heart out to me so truthfully. I really liked that and appreciated it.


Of course, I always try to be a support and encourage women to go gray because it’s so empowering. Plus, the effects you have on others when you do go gray is unforeseen and is definitely a force that makes people respond. You know, for every cause there’s an effect, so whatever you do it’s going to affect others. By me going gray naturally has affected many women. Some of them can’t help telling me this and how it inspires them and affects them.

One time I was in a restaurant and the waitress came up to me. She said that she was starting to have a few grays come in. This is a total stranger and she’s sharing this with me! It was like she couldn’t help it. I loved it. She always wondered if her hair would grow in a strip on her temple. Anyway, she just hoped it would look as good as mine. You know, you get these insights into people’s thoughts, behaviors, wishes and wants, just by having gray hair. It’s quite lovely how it creates this instant bond.


Another time I was dress shopping and a sales girl walked up to me and she said she thought my hair was so beautiful. She said that if she let her hair go great she would probably not like the way it looked even though she was thinking about it. Then I told her about a study a woman did on Match dot com. What she did was upload two pictures of herself, with her husband’s approval. One picture was of her with her natural brunette hair color and the other picture she had made herself look gray. She might have been in her late 30s or early 40s. Lo and behold, she got more hits from the gray haired picture than she did from the brunette picture. That speaks volumes as to what we think men find more attractive. Plus, it underscores how important it is to stop worrying about something that most likely isn't true.


Another time I was in yet another clothing store and an elderly women, who was very well groomed, came up to me being very serious. She said she wanted to know who does my hair. I said, “Nature.” She said, “Where’s that?”

On social media I once received a comment from a woman who said that she needed me as a type of role model to feel confident and strong and she observed her mood shift in the aging process because she embraces who she is now. She welcomes age with grace. That’s a courageous woman who just dives in and embraces who she is. I really appreciated her letting me know that I inspired her.


I wanted to write this blog to let you know that if you want to take that leap and go gray, you will affect many others in a positive way and you will also inspire them and encourage them to be who they are naturally. You’ll help them embrace what nature gave them to be who they are. It’s extremely empowering and once they follow your lead it’s a domino effect. They will affect others, too, and so forth.


Fortunately, it’s not something that is forever if you don’t want it to be. If you don’t want to keep your gray hair you can go back.There’s always wigs to wear for a night or for a day if you want to change it up. Wearing wigs let you have any hair color you feel like for any occasion without having to commit or without having to go through the growing out process again. Personally, I love wigs and think they are such a fun accessory.


I hope this brief blog encourages you to be who you are and to have fun and you love your look and to be gentle with yourself. You are needed. What you do can have a profound and positive affects on others. What you do counts!


You can watch my YouTube video on this topic with a special surprise at the end of the video!

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© 2020 Roxanne Gould  support@roxmod.me